epilepsy Archives - Page 87 of 89

Resisting The Inevitable

When my son’s epilepsy diagnosis came, it came with a list of changes that we needed to make to our lifestyle. No more baths without supervision, no more swimming without someone else in the pool, and no bunk beds. The first two changes were precautions to prevent drowning, and the last one was to prevent falling out of bed during or after a seizure.

A few months before his diagnosis, to help ease the transition for my son with our move from Colorado to Philadelphia, we sprung for a new bedroom set for his new room. The bed? A loft bed with a slide, clearly not on the epilepsy-friendly list.

We really struggled with what to do. The diagnosis was new, and it was bad enough that our son was having seizures, we didn’t want this also to mean we had to start taking stuff away from him and changing his environment. Besides, we told ourselves, the medicine was doing its job, and he wasn’t having seizures anymore. So we let him keep his bed.

As it turned out, his seizures weren’t under control. They were masked by the medicine and they evolved, happening early in the morning and shortly after he woke up…both times when having a bed that was five feet off the ground posed a serious danger. After our latest hospital stay, my wife and I finally had the conversation that we had been putting off and made the decision to create a safer environment for our son.

Instead of ordering a new bed, we talked to our son about converting his fire station loft bedroom in to a ground level hockey bedroom and he was thankfully on board. Most of the time, he handles so much of this better than I do, and my fears about him resisting these changes or feeling like his epilepsy were going to ruin his life proved a much easier conversation, especially when we talked to him about the silver linings and making him a part of the process. He will get to help pick his sheets and blankets with his favorite teams. With the slide removed, there is more room to play hockey. And, probably most importantly, lowering the bed is the next step in to him being able to sleep in his own room again.

The lesson is that safety should always come first, and that there are ways to make these transitions less traumatic. It just takes a little creativity and a lot of love, which our family has in spades.

Oh, and by “converting” his bed, I broke out the circular saw…

…and cut the legs down on his bad to a safer height.

I wish taking away his seizures were as easy.

Break On Through

The house had been quiet at night since we left the hospital. My wife and son had been sleeping on our small bed while I slept on the couch in the living room. This temporary living arrangement was brought on by necessity since his elevated loft bed in the basement was not compatible with our new reality, and the stairs down to his room posed a hazard should he have a seizure and try to navigate his way up to our room in the middle of the night.

The first few nights back home, there was little sleep as we waited to see how our son would do. We’d been in this cycle where we would leave the hospital armed with a new medicine and no seizures only to find ourselves back in the hospital a few days later when the seizures returned in force.

But after a week without an incident, in a house filled with silence, my body was finally able to relax. The slender couch with the small “Home Sweet Home” decorative pillow (that I know I’m not supposed to use) were a welcome relief from the uncomfortable hospital accommodations.

With so many quiet nights in a row, my brain resisted reacting to the alarm bell my ears heard echoing through the halls, the unmistakable sound bellowing from my son’s vocal chords that announced the arrival of another seizure . I rolled off the couch, landed on my feet, and raced to the bedroom at the back of our apartment. I caught a glance at the digital clock on the microwave as I passed. It read 5:32, and I noted it so that we could measure the duration of the seizure, the mechanics of counting and measuring seizures having become rote.

By the time I reached the bedroom, the thankfully short seizure was already over and my wife was comforting my son. I laid with them for awhile before returning to the couch. This time, my body refused to relax, and I nervously stayed alert to listen for another seizure, which also came later the same morning, followed by another cluster that required the use of the rescue medicines before they dissipated.

They call these “break through” seizures because they occur in spite of the use of anticonvulsants or, in our case, three anticonvulsants and countless prayers. We’ve experienced enough of them to know what we are supposed to do, which is as terrible as it sounds. But we stayed home and, given our year so far, that is a marked improvement.

A New Normal

The idea of normal for me six months ago feels very different from it does today.

Six months ago, none of this was happening. We were an ordinary family with an exceptional boy growing up in a normal way without seizures, without medicine, and without a diagnosis.

Then the seizures came, and our normal changed. Normal was daily medication. Normal was carrying a rescue medicine with us where we went. Normal was explaining to caregivers and teachers what to do in case of a seizure when we barely knew ourselves.

That was our normal for awhile. But then the seizures changed, and the medicine he was on also needed to change. Only, that medicine didn’t work, so our normal became more seizures, and hospital stays, and testing, and a search for answers.

This last hospital stay, a bad reaction to one of the medicines caused something called ataxia, which means our son basically lost control of his body. Thankfully, when they stopped the medicine and he is slowly gaining back control of his body and his mind, but we’re left to wonder how fully he will recover

Six months ago our normal was talking about how our son would be a hockey player when he grew up. Now we’re just hoping we can regain what was lost, and hopefully figure out a cause, or a treatment, or preferably both.

We’re still in a place where we don’t know what our new normal is going to be. But whatever the future holds, there is one thing that will always be part of our normal, and that is making our son feel exception.

Because he is.